CHIP_BRZ
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D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/10 03:48
Dick Cheney Kills Birds Dead
The manly veep has himself a lazy, "canned" pheasant slaughter, and we are so impressed
By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist Friday, January 23, 2004
So then about a month ago the vice president of these beautiful and deeply confused United States, he of the struggling defibrillator and the shockingly nefarious wife and the gnarled calluses from working
Dubya's puppet strings, he of the thin-lipped sneer that makes babies cry and women wince and foreign policies crumble like feta cheese in the freezer, well, Dick goes himself a-huntin'.
Not just any ol' regular, camouflage-wearing, man-versus-nature hunt out in the wild, mind. Dick is far too fragile and unskilled and spoiled and scared of the open woods and icky furry monsters for that.
Assumedly.
Nossir, our man Dick, he has himself flown over, in Air Force 2, on the taxpayer's tab, accompanied by his most favoritest shotgun, to the exclusive Rolling Rock Club in Ligonier, Westmoreland
County, in rural Pennsylvania, to have himself a nice, cushy
"canned" pheasant hunt.
This is what it was: Dick and about nine other overfed white guys sitting in a comfy luxury blind with their manly shotguns, waiting for the Westmoreland guy stationed behind them on a hill to release clusters of stunned, fat, tame game birds from a net. Then they shoot them.
Lots and lots of them. And then they slap each other on the back.
And they grunt and say nice shot as the birds drop like flies as dogs race back and forth hauling dead or dying birds into huge piles.
Whee what fun.
More than 400 birds were killed in one lackadaisical afternoon.
Dick himself blasted the living crap out of 70 birds, all by himself.
That's right, 70. Plus an unknown number of mallard ducks. Then they had them all plucked and vacuum packed and sent back home to show off to the staff. Dick was driven back to the airport in a Humvee.
Are we not all impressed? Are we not all sitting here saying, wow, that Dick Cheney guy, he of the massive alleged Halliburton corruption scandals, he is one studly dude, slaughtering a small mountain of docile, stupefied birds that had no chance of escape.
What a guy.
And what a display of prowess and skill, using his day off to kill almost as many pheasant and duck in an afternoon as all those notions of progress that have been slaughtered by his inbred cronyist pro-industry energy policy since the beginning of this sentence. Gosh.
Even real hunters cringe at canned hunts. It is not a sport. It is not man versus nature. There is no nobility, no honor, no sportsmanship, no instinct, no luck, no tramping through fields and crouching in blinds and waiting for hours as you coddle the barrel of your shotgun and dream of J.Lo and tell jokes about homos and Hillary Clinton, just so you can shoot a few wild birds.
In other words, Cheney's canned hunt had none of the ostensibly sporting characteristics of true hunting. Cheney's was essentially a slaughter, a bloody target practice for aging overpampered white males who never have sex and have desperately zero outlet for all their pent-up misanthropic energies. In short.
Yes, there are far more pressing issues for us to care about than a bunch of dead birds. And, yes, there are roughly a billion chickens slaughtered every damn day in this county by giant pollutive industrial farms in far more inhumane and brutal and disgusting and inbred and feces-thick and imminently liquefied and reconstituted and resold-as-
McNuggets ways than Uncle Dick's little afternoon birdie bloodbath.
And, yes, indeed, canned hunts happen far more often than anyone probably imagines. There are private ranches all over the country, most offering manly trophy hunters a "guaranteed" kill of some overbred, tame, exotic animal, such as antelopes, deer, cattle, swine, bears, zebras and sometimes even big cats.
These ranches, most operating in -- you guessed it -- Texas, service lazy fee-paying trophy hunters who want a giant stuffed antelope head for the den but don't want to deal with any of that nasty nature or travel to Africa. God bless America.
So Dick's little hunt was not all that rare. Which of course makes it no less stupid, no less of a brutal blood rush. It was a taxpayer- supported trip taken solely for the sake of ... what? Not sport. Not gamesmanship. Not food. Just the little thrill that comes from killing something that never had a prayer? Is that it, Dick? Kick up the defibrillator a notch? Must be.
Hell, we taxpayers could've saved a fortune in Secret Service time and Air Force 2 gas money had Dick simply have one of his lackeys
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jupiter2001
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/10 12:41
You fucking moronic whore - how *else* would he kill them but dead?
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CHIP_BRZ
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/10 14:53
Faking quotes, forged posts, lies, filth, harassment.
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CHIP_BRZ
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/10 16:23
Faking quotes, forged posts, lies, filth, harassment.
http://www.iol.ie/~creature/boiled%20ball.html
<snip filthy lies>
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Brainnerd
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/10 17:57
Sporting chance my arse! You've been reading Ward Clark again. Still I can't make any political comment as our royal family has always engaged in such activities. Killing things are their favourite pastime.
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The GJ
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/10 19:12
Somewhat. How many pheasants have you contributed to life for?
How about mallards?
No it's not. It's man working with nature. I'm guessing those birds lived at least six months. What percentage of wild pheasants in that area live to be six months? I'm guessing it is way less than 50%. Let's say it is 50% to be generous...the canned birds still had as long a life as 50% of the wild ones in the area, and some of them are bound to get away from some hunts even if not that one. Why doesn't all that carry as much weight as how one of the hunters got to PA? Why don't you say anything about the ANIMALS???
[...]
Which way would you rather go?
[...]
How long a tether, and how long would they be left on it?
How much extra suffering do you think it would produce because these birds are tethered by their leg, trying desperately to get out of there when the guns start going off? There would be broken legs, and dislocations, and probably wing injuries. But there would be in the field too. Your option doesn't allow for any of them to get away though...but interestingly you just don't care about things like that.
[...]
Some of them get away. Pheasants wouldn't even live in PA
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Brainnerd
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/10 21:58
I have never stated otherwise.
I acknowledge CDs
Perhaps I should cut down my CD carnage and drink American beer, no barley or hops in that brew. It's carbonated maidens water
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CHIP_BRZ
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/11 03:35
Faking quotes, forged posts, lies, filth, harassment.
http://www.iol.ie/~creature/boiled%20ball.html
<snip filthy lies>
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asharratt
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/11 06:53
I'm sure you're probably right about that in most cases where the animal isn't particularly aggressive, and that on its own surprises me since I've always believed we were probably near the bottom of the food chain without our high powered rifles. That aside, what I found even more remarkable in this one-on-one encounter was a definite amount of fair play which made the killing of that animal almost honourable. By that I mean I felt that that fit little man maintained an excellence of character throughout, and even displayed a certain amount of noble respect for his quarry unlike other hunters with their high powered rifles, because had he failed he would certainly have perished as it was doubtful he'd have enough strength to hunt down another. He was spent. It was a kill or die situation, and one that he constantly has to face on a regular basis. A harsh lifestyle in a harsh environment, but one that earns him the freedom to hunt in my opinion.
Truly amazing. The spent koodoo just laid down at the end of the chase and waited for its pursuer to finish it off in what seemed to be total resignation.
The exhausted little man was *given* the chance for a clean kill, or so it seemed.
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jupiter2001
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/11 10:52
Faking nothing, you CONVICTED whore. You're a filthy whore!
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konk
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/11 16:08
Then similarly, deer wouldn't even exist in Ohio
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VEX
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/11 17:57
No it isn't interesting, because it's not a fact, it's another of your stupid, confused opinions.
I condemn canned hunting, it's an abomination and an insult to real hunters, not because it's for sport, but because there's not enough sport involved. I guarantee you that the majority of antis agree.
You're the one who seems worried, every time you stumble in here it's to moan about "antis" and you *never* get it right.
I'm not the least bit worried about the animals killed producing carrots, that's life. However the fact that they_are killed *ought to* ring a bell in the mostly empty heads of so-called ethical-vegetarians. The fact that it doesn't just adds a layer of stupidity to their already messed up minds.
Nice going Lar, you manage to stick your foot in it just about 100% of the time you open your yap.
You're just another bit of evidence that one doesn't even have to BE a vegan to suffer from their cognitive disturbance, one only has to be a vegan groupie like you.
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golrog
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/11 21:35
I don't think you upset either one. They seem to derive amusement from your "arguments" (I use the term very, very loosely).
He's referring to your hypocrisy. Nevermind your posting, your own diet is lethal to animals. You're not even vegetarian, dork.
Nice that you're SO concerned about the VP's health.
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Xio
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/12 01:46
Faking nothing, you CONVICTED whore. You're a filthy whore!
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simpsonde
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/12 02:27
<snip>
Yes, hunters like to pretend that they are so "outclassed" by their prey that they are heroic when they blow away some hapless deer or turkey ( animal, not one of their buddies ).
However, there is a lot of anecdotal evidence that healthy humans can take out almost any animal in a one-on-one fight, including large predators. Humans are actually big and savage predators themselves, and most of the animal kingdom doesn't stand much of a chance against us, even without our high technology.
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golrog
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/12 07:03
It's also yours. Barley and hops are not CD-free, Ray. Bottoms up!
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VEX
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/12 12:23
Fine with me. There's some difference between releasing birds to be shot and shooting caged animals as they do some canned hunts.
Then that should be considered, but there's no exact replacement for an animal.
You have one semi-interesting idea, that you assign some animals more value than others. From there you go straight downhill, sucking up to vegans and creating strawman arguments for antis.
The diet part is veganism is fine, it's all the confusion, deception and other baggage that makes it such a mess.
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golrog
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/12 15:17
That's being awfully generous to Miller, Coor's, and Bud. Have you tried one of our finer brews? Sierra Nevada Pale Ale is quite nice -- no corn or rice in it. Even some of our lagers like Samuel Adams are full malt.
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golrog
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/12 17:42
<...>
I like hoppy beers, too, but I think the combination of Mittelfrueh and
Tettnang in Sam Adams works. It's a decently balanced beer.
I'm not big on stouts (I hate roasty flavors, especially coffee, and stouts remind me too much of coffee). Bass is a decent ale, and Fuller's is better.
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Xio
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re:D.C Kills Birds Dead - 2007/03/13 01:29
It doesn't matter. If shooting them in a canned hunt is wrong (I don't necessarily feel it is), the
"quality" of their lives before they were shot does NOT balance the wrong.
Pheasants "getting to experience life" does not offset the wrong in killing them, if indeed it is wrong.
Pheasants or anything else "getting to experience life" is morally meaningless, FUCKWIT.
One does not earn moral credits by causing animals to live.
Not a moral plus, FUCKWIT. It's morally meaningless.
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